Today,
ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to explore four effective strategies
that can cause a narcissist mental distress. These techniques aim to
lessen their importance in your life, confront their delusion, and cut
off their narcissistic supply.
These techniques can help you recover
control and safeguard your well-being when interacting with a
narcissistic parent, partner, or coworker. But keep in mind that safety
comes first. Before using these strategies, make sure you have
authority. Let’s begin.
Tactic 1 – Reduce Narcissist’s Significance in Your Life
Step
number one, and probably the most powerful one is the basis for
everything else I’m gonna be able to teach you today you must reduce the
narcissist’s significance in your life. Do not fake this. Do not act as
though they are no longer as significant as they used to be. Make them
less significant than they used to be.
If you wanna create
distress, if you wanna create anguish, uncertainty, insecurity, and
paranoia, you must reduce their significance. Don’t fake it because
they’re smart in terms of detecting other people’s emotional states.
They cannot detect their emotional states, cannot self-reflect, or have
very little capacity. But they can map other human beings frighteningly
well.
If you genuinely do this, you won’t need to put on an act.
They’ll feel it, they’ll know it, and it will drive them insane with
anguish because the whole superstructure of their personality is in
being significant to everybody but particularly to their targets. So,
reduce their significance.
What
does that mean? It means that even inside of the relationship, you need
to let go of being with them. If it’s your mother or father, you’ve
gotta grieve the fact that you never had and never will have a mother or
father. Grieve, cry, go to therapy, feel sad, write poetry whatever you
need to do. And in the end, you won’t be attached to them being a good
mother or father. You’ll have let it go, and you’ll have reduced their
significance.
If it’s a romantic relationship, grieve, cry, go to
therapy, let it go. Drop the idea they’re ever gonna be a husband, a
wife, a father, or a mother. They’re not. Despair, grieve, and let it
go. You will reduce their significance. That’s step number one.
Tactic 2 – Challenge Their Idealized Self
Step
number two, the second piece of advice I’ve got for you: the second
method for torturing a narcissist would be to challenge their
narcissistic idealized self. If you can challenge, deride, mock, and
devalue their false self which is their idealized, fantastical,
delusional story of how wonderful, se*xy, powerful, intelligent, rich,
whatever they are if you can find ways of poking holes in that from a
position of reduced significance (they’re in a state of reduced
significance for you, so you are pretty indifferent, you’re pretty cold,
you’re pretty detached), and you just gently suggest to them that their
false self once you’ve figured out and you’ve mapped exactly what the
paradigms of that false self are once you’ve mapped that, and you
slowly, subtly over time challenge that, you will send them into an
absolute blind fury because this creates a massive amount of
narcissistic injury.
Obviously, with everything I’m telling you
here today, you need to make sure, as a sovereign adult using an
entertaining YouTube video, that you are safe when you do this. That
you’re dealing with a narcissist, not a psychopath, and that the power
dynamic of the relationship doesn’t mean that, for example, they can
take custody of your kids, kick you out of a house, drop you from a job,
drop you from a team, or dump you. You need to be smart before trying
to do any of this because if you inflict narcissistic injury and they go
into a narcissistic rage, their response will be disproportionate. They
will pursue you to punish you for having inflicted this narcissistic
injury against them.
I’m just showing you how to create mental
anguish in somebody with narcissistic personality disorder. What you do
with this information is on you. Map their false self, map the specific
paradigms of the false self, feed it back to them, and then gently you
don’t have to be bold; it’s better to do it the way they do it, in an
insidious, cold, maybe even mocking or sneering way challenge those
elements of the false self, which is what they’re most insecure about
because secretly inside, they know that the false self is false. And you
will create a massive amount of mental anguish in them.
Tactic 3 – Go to Therapy
The
third tactic I wanna show you to torture the narcissist is probably the
healthiest thing I’m gonna suggest today: you go to therapy. Go to
therapy. Don’t go to therapy to torture them. Go to therapy to heal. Go
to therapy to get better. Go to therapy to get over the relationship
with them, to grieve the relationship with them, to let it go. Go to
therapy to heal the wounds that caused you to get into that relationship
with them and start to live a better life focused on more joy, more
passion, and more happiness. Do what you wanna do.
The narcissist
is gonna try and coerce you, press you, and bully you into a dark,
nasty, cold, oppressive, imprisoning, and enslaving world. If you break
free of that world and refuse to live in a dark, oppressed, enslaving
world instead, you’re in a sun-shining, optimistic, happy, and bright
one you will drive them completely insane because you are simultaneously
reducing their significance and their power, and you are challenging
the false self just by doing this.
The notion of you being free,
not needing them, being free from them, being happy without them, and
going on and living a good life without them having poisoned you, warped
you, or permanently damaged you will drive them completely insane
because it destroys their narcissistic self-image. All of the anguish
you can cause a narcissist is going to be through either reducing their
narcissistic supply or destroying or damaging the false
self-narcissistic image.
Tactic 4 – Mess with Their Supply (EXPOSE THEM)
The
fourth method for torturing the narcissist that I suggest you use if
you feel it’s safe and you feel it’s right to do so is to mess with
their supply in a very, very specific way.
So, narcissistic supply
was identified decades ago as something that the narcissistic
personality-disordered individual needs. It’s not love, it’s not
friendship, it’s not an authentic reciprocal relationship with another
human being. They need their version of love and attention. It’s highly
narcissistic, and it is for them like shooting up a drug. It’s a
narcissistic supply.
If you mess with that narcissistic supply if
you make them feel like they’re gonna be cut off from that narcissistic
supply you’re gonna create the kind of distress, anguish, and anxiety
that a junkie would feel if they felt like they were gonna run out of
junk, like they were gonna lose their ability to get hold of more junk.
If
you want to aggravate them, the threat or the potential in this
scenario should be that the supply is gonna be permanently damaged in a
scenario, in an institution, with a particular individual that they
value because they don’t value all sources of supply the same. So, be
cunning, as you were earlier. Map which sources of supply they’re very
dependent on or they’re very, very attached to, and threaten to
permanently damage those sources of narcissistic supply by exposing the
true nature of the narcissist.
So, we know with narcissistic
personality disorder, at the level of the personality structure itself,
there was an authentic self who, as a child, in response to a very
oppressive and abusive environment, built a wall around themselves to
protect themselves. And within that wall is a sort of a mirror a Perseus
shield which distorts the truth. And everything that goes through well,
first of all, very little reality breaks through this narcissistic
shell.
But when it does, the little bits of reality that break
through the narcissistic shell that which reach the little bit of
authentic self that is left there (which is mainly dead because the
authentic self dies in this isolation and shrivels to almost nothing)
the little bits of reality that get through are distorted as they pass
through the shield. They’re reframed, they’re reformatted so that the
self that looks out at the world through the shield is looking also
through a mirror, and that mirror is telling the narcissistic self what
the narcissistic self wants to hear. That is the false image.
So,
no matter what happens, the narcissist is desperately fighting to
restructure what is happening to fit a preexisting fantasy-based
narrative of how incredibly amazing they are. What does that mean? It
means that generally speaking, in simpler language, there’s the real
person the real narcissist and then there’s this fake image that they’re
pushing out to the world.
Why do they push this fake image out to
the world? To garner as much narcissistic supply, to become as
significant as possible, to develop a false self, and to avoid
narcissistic injury. It’s a defense. It’s defensive. So, they’re pumping
this out to generate let’s say, predominantly to generate an emotional
response in the people around them because they’re predominantly feeding
off emotions. So, they’re trying to get reactions from people.
They
are very fragile. So, they generate a false self. It’s a big
performance. But what does that mean? It means the narcissist is very
vulnerable. If you are in the middle of a narcissistic abusive
relationship, you will see this overblown image of the narcissist, which
is how they want you to see them. They’re all-powerful, they’re se*xy,
they’re an alpha female, an alpha male whatever their nonsense story is
or they’re the biggest martyr in the room, they’re the biggest victim
you’ve ever known, they’ve suffered more than anybody else ever has,
they’re Christ himself down from the cross (that would be more in line
with covert narcissism or vulnerable narcissism). But they’re the
biggest and best at something even if they’re the biggest and best at
being tortured and abused and abandoned.
That’s what you believe
when you’re in the middle of it. But when you look again, you’ll see the
whole thing is an incredibly fragile, incredibly delicate facade that’s
very easily broken.
So, if you threaten to expose them, what are
you threatening to expose? What you’re threatening to expose is: that
this is how they show themselves to the world. This is how they’ve shown
themselves to this person. This is how they’ve shown themselves to this
institution. This is how they’ve shown themselves to this industry. But
you have evidence that the real person is like this.
Because of
the PTSD element and the trauma-based element, there is a massive amount
of splitting in narcissistic personality formations. There’s a massive
amount of black and white. So, typically not always, but typically their
real feelings about any subject are the opposite. So, they present as
being very loving and very kind to, let’s say animals. They do lots of
charity work with animals. But you live with them, and you know
personally, despite all this virtue signaling for the outside world
about how much they care about animal cruelty and so on, you see them
treat animals with either contempt, cruelty, or total indifference.
So,
that’s just a small example of something that could expose the truth of
who they are that ruins the false self-image that they’re projecting to
the world that would permanently damage a source of narcissistic
supply. You don’t have to do this. The fear that it might happen is what
will torture them and create a huge amount of mental anguish.